A free spirit, this blog is one of my many manifestations. There could be posts related to my life and people close to me, there will be a lot of figments of my imagination too!
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Tuesday, June 23, 2015

The Veiled Ethics


It was early morning, around 4 am and the marriage ceremony was finally over. The bride and the groom were ushered into another room, while the rest of us, the "baraati", walked downstairs and waited for our vehicles near the entrance gate, which was so well lit up last evening, but now had only few sleepy stray dogs and an artillery of mosquitoes doing the rounds. Yes, the festivities were over.


While we awaited, an elderly gentleman in a off-white dhoti and equally pale kurta, walked up to us and commented, "I must say, the ladies in your household are very unrestricted. They were openly smiling and talking when the marriage ceremony was going on. In our household women are supposed to be sitting quietly listening to the panditji and understanding the importance of marriage."

We stood there, quietly. Suddenly the mosquitoes hovering around seemed so much more pleasant than the obnoxious person who stood in front of us. Of course we could answer back, but everyone rather scrupulously decided to keep their mouth shut and not do the same mistake this elderly gentleman committed. Amongst intricacies of the stigmas and norms in such a Society, an innocent confrontation, specially on occasions like marriage, might lead to a lot of unwanted repercussions. People who grew up amidst such surroundings knew better. My husband's uncle diverted the conversation and said, "Sir, who are you, please?" and the self engrossed individual started a semi biopic.

Well, Sir, you may be whoever you think you are. But here is what I think about you - Congratulations! You have been awarded the creamy layer award for being one of the top five morons I have come across in my life! And trust me, for those who know me, I am a very soft spoken ethical person. So just by the virtue of your age this award is very hard to achieve.

Congratulations once again - for it is hard to find someone as stupid as you. You were nudging about the importance of marriage, amongst others, also in front of two successful married women who have been rather adept in balancing their work and family. You tried to belittle a family in front of a beti and a bahu of the family - speaks a lot about your own moral sense. No wonder I cannot perceive a morsel of respect for you.
But Sir, what was it that was bothering you really?
Was it the smile on the faces?
The fact that the women actually enjoyed at a social event sitting along side the men in the family?
The fact that they felt free to show their joy and happiness and their thoughts were not hidden behind the oppressive mental pallu, which seems so morally correct to you?
And just to let you know, we were following the panditji and every step of the rituals to a tee. After all, that what we were there for - to witness our brother's marriage. Having a smile on our faces and freely talking amongst ourselves does not mean we were any less interested.
We also spotted a few - "supposed to be sitting quietly listening to the panditji" - ladies taking a nap or two under their pallus, just saying =)

Here's a tip, Sir - Maybe next time when you want to comment on any family at any event, stop yourself. You have clearly outlived your time and your thoughts don't hold good (and I have strong doubts if they ever held good).
It is people like you who are dragging the nation down with your oppressive mentality and I am glad I married into a family where the ladies in the household are very unrestricted - for I believe such restrictions should come from within and not enforced by someone!
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