A strange beckoning

In the silence of the night, soft waves rock my boat as I cross the purple waters of the river to the other side. All I can hear is the water splashing against the oar of the small wooden boat. The tall oarsman is hooded by the darkness. I can't see his face. His long thin hands meticulously row the boat.

On the shore I can see the outline of the castle, my destination. I know I have to go there. The grass is still wet, but the full moon is making way through the clouds which is good, because I don't have any source of light with me. That's strange. Since when did I start heading out at night without a bagful of essentials? I mock myself.

I walk towards the castle. It isn't that big. I have seen bigger ones than this. Yet it beckons me. The high stone wall, tall tower at the corner which still has light flickering from the candelabra, the long corridor encircling the central courtyard, the distant rooms with high arched windows and the winding staircase, I didn't see it but I knew it is there, all seem like a déjà vu.

I have to go there, inside the castle. My head hurts and vision is getting blurry. The moon doesn't light up inside the woods. It is dark and a chilly wind blows brushing the long bamboo leaves near the castle. I stagger on my way, dragging my legs which have clearly revolted against me. And I feel dizzy.

Slowly and not quite steadily, I reach the stone wall. I look around; there is no one to be seen. Is that a light flickering? I cannot even be sure. My eyes are failing me. If only I could reach the gates and find my way in. But, where are the gates? I start pacing alongside the wall for support. My hand trailing along the wall is a reminiscence of a time long forgotten, like a distant dream which I try to remember.

Dizzily, I stagger on my search for a way in. My head feels faint and legs feel numb. I cannot carry on this way for long and my desperation increases. If I knew this place why don't I know how to go in? Why would no one notice me and take me in? What am I doing here? I cannot see anymore, I cannot hear anymore. I become one with the darkness.

Suddenly bells ring at a distance. Who is that? The sound becomes louder and I struggle to open my eyes. It is not dark anymore. I turn around, it is 6 am and my alarm set off. The quaint rays of the morning sun have started to brighten up my room. I stretch out my hand to reach the medicines on the table. The hallucinations will go away. That's what they say.